Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML

#18894125
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31036) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/23/2012 at 9:47pm - work - by moe472 (man) - United States

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

#18888313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36640) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/23/2012 at 4:56am - work - by FuturePolice (man) - United States (California)

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10618) - you deserved it (34178)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML

#18860148
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (2373)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:13am - work - by XxJennJennXxX - United States

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (3374)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

#18853580
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (5183)

On 01/19/2012 at 2:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (50381)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41024) - you deserved it (2549)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

#18847720
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (3688)

On 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by iliterallypoopedmyself (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML

#18842553
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (6451)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:15am - work - by Lyn (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

#18838483
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (5044)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by Sheliton (woman) - United States

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

#18834092
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (2208)

On 01/17/2012 at 11:08am - work - by broke - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

#18782870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24949) - you deserved it (2314)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:14am - work - by me_the_maniak - India (Maharashtra)



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