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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

#13927206
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7997) - you deserved it (30728)

On 11/21/2010 at 5:36pm - work - by BlackRavenWings - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

#13925537
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6742) - you deserved it (35802)

On 11/21/2010 at 2:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (2393)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML

#13906681
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

#13893679
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (3533)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

#13893197
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (5463)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

#13885565
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28117) - you deserved it (2515)

On 11/18/2010 at 7:12am - work - by pukishgirl (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

#13876582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (7128)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

#13874494
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (2796)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:09am - work - by mommy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

#13874228
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (2269)

On 11/17/2010 at 5:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7552) - you deserved it (29002)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14174) - you deserved it (50103)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

#13869223
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (2300)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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