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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

#14021312
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24962) - you deserved it (5433)

On 11/29/2010 at 5:46am - work - by figgy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went in to work to check my new schedule for the week. I searched up and down and didn't see my name listed. After talking to my manager, he decided it would be easier to "release" me than remake a new schedule. FML

#14014833
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (1792)

On 11/28/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by moshgra -

Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML

#13971755
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (2493)

On 11/25/2010 at 5:25am - work - by Peter -

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (2280)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

#13962555
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

#13959673
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8814) - you deserved it (35163)

On 11/24/2010 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (7521)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (3677)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

#13950658
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (2146)

On 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm - work - by Username -

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

#13947465
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8388) - you deserved it (57535)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

#13929879
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (4535)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by poomaster - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

#13927206
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7997) - you deserved it (30729)

On 11/21/2010 at 5:36pm - work - by BlackRavenWings - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

#13925537
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6742) - you deserved it (35802)

On 11/21/2010 at 2:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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