Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

#17794413
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (36565)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:40am - work - by unknown - Philippines

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

#17794305
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (8757)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39176) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML

#17780072
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (6363)

On 09/19/2011 at 11:56am - work - by Lexiebear27 - United States

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

#17777844
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25756) - you deserved it (3880)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)

Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML

#17764475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (2436)

On 09/17/2011 at 1:13pm - work - by RebekahBrooke - United States

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (2254)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

#17757588
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (1868)

On 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Help - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (3424)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

#17751252
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (1928)

On 09/15/2011 at 1:56pm - work - by Hreyes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to fire an employee because she constantly calls in, or is late to work. She became very emotional and I felt kind of bad, so I walked her out myself. We then got stuck in the company elevator. FML

#17750469
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (3715)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:47am - work - by thatsmejl (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

#17749628
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (1931)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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