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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29205) - you deserved it (1886)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

#17630283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (1919)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:45pm - work - by chicoallen - United States

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

#17623287
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26121) - you deserved it (4583)

On 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML

#17621192
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (2079)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - work - by honeybee2487 - United States

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10597) - you deserved it (29415)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21644) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29141) - you deserved it (8021)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

#17588336
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17161) - you deserved it (20479)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

#17574598
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (2699)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:29am - work - by badluckantonio - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (3325)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

#17555220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (9908)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)



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