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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

#17822826
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30216) - you deserved it (2396)

On 09/24/2011 at 5:34pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

#17820247
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25697) - you deserved it (4454)

On 09/24/2011 at 11:22am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML

#17812513
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (3180)

On 09/23/2011 at 10:48am - work - by sick of life - United States (New York)

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

#17803307
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (2412)

On 09/22/2011 at 8:06am - work - by Soopa-Genius (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

#17801951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9212) - you deserved it (49268)

On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

#17794413
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13287) - you deserved it (36558)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:40am - work - by unknown - Philippines

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

#17794305
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (8757)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39173) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML

#17780072
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (6363)

On 09/19/2011 at 11:56am - work - by Lexiebear27 - United States

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

#17777844
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (3880)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)

Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML

#17764475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36298) - you deserved it (2436)

On 09/17/2011 at 1:13pm - work - by RebekahBrooke - United States



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