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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

#19357062
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (4661)

On 03/27/2012 at 11:54am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

#19354471
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (2218)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (4471)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

#19341181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (2511)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20910) - you deserved it (3853)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25242) - you deserved it (2002)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my company announced a new name. They also announced new coffee mugs with the name on them. They've not announced raises in over 3 years. FML

#19324778
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (2157)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:17am - work - by glens - United States

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (3923)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (5402)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

#19320303
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (2214)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (2710)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

#19299897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (3322)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)



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