Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

#13510751
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9873) - you deserved it (30181)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

#13505156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10358) - you deserved it (24958)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:40pm - work - by haayloo (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8561) - you deserved it (29988)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

#13496435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (4803)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:27am - work - by ktwithaq (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my new job, I was answering the phone and said "Hello Cafe Thirty, how may I help you?" The man on the other line said "Don't you mean Old Town Cafe?" Cafe Thirty was my old job. I now work at Old Town Cafe. The man on the other line was my boss. FML

#13493861
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12532) - you deserved it (23740)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:39am - work - by andibartle - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27019) - you deserved it (2828)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

#13456460
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24369) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52am - work - by ziatenaj - United States (California)

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

#13452838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6827) - you deserved it (24003)

On 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm - work - by edodge (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

#13448275
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (2625)

On 10/14/2010 at 6:10pm - work - by unloved - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was called up about a job I'd recently applied for. I was overly excited to tell them I'd be there on Monday. Then I remembered I canceled my car insurance due to financial difficulties. I have no way of getting there. FML

#13446439
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (7577)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:02pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29000) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

#13442719
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25565) - you deserved it (3286)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

#13433715
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20825) - you deserved it (5708)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: