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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML

#19488573
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (2309)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:49am - work - by Disgruntled (man) - United States (New York)

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (2096)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

#19473815
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (2631)

On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss fired me because he wants to start dating my mother and apparently doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

#19464773
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29433) - you deserved it (1771)

On 04/14/2012 at 1:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (6512)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

#19449584
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8853) - you deserved it (42466)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm - work - by Spudzy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

#19443531
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (6988)

On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

#19416439
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29776) - you deserved it (2830)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

#19416398
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21796) - you deserved it (2407)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:09am - work - by mockable (woman) - United States

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

#19415832
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (2458)

On 04/06/2012 at 2:15am - work - by akasha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10786) - you deserved it (55760)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (3261)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States



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