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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

#8900483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19423) - you deserved it (4831)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

#8880583
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5564) - you deserved it (12384)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:56pm - work - by Maxx (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (2019)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

#8852783
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (1715)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17613) - you deserved it (2165)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19384) - you deserved it (3036)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (4040)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML

#8818369
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4791) - you deserved it (29265)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:52am - work - by EnemyofKarma (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19112) - you deserved it (1554)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at work using a wood finishing product that we apply by hand. After 2 straight days of using it I finally read the label. It said "This product contains a chemical known to the state of California to cause cancer". Good thing nobody told me. FML

#8794429
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17573) - you deserved it (9630)

On 03/03/2010 at 5:49am - work - by painter - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

#8751170
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5318) - you deserved it (13267)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - work - by militiousroflcopter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML

#8749925
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4388) - you deserved it (24780)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:50pm - work - by themanontheright - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was building new fixtures at work. As I assembled the top holding bar on the second section, my boss came up and smacked it to try and scare me. She knocked the top holding bar, which is made of steel, onto my head, and then all the sections went on to fall like dominoes. FML



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