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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

#17549181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31372) - you deserved it (2777)

On 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm - work - by waytootan (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

#17546019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (2152)

On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

#17535698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25381) - you deserved it (2137)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:35am - work - by cakehater - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (4956)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

#17529546
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (5960)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31697) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

#17507560
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10080) - you deserved it (35136)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22450) - you deserved it (10351)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

#17479997
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14013) - you deserved it (32981)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:55am - work - by rr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

#17476443
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8725) - you deserved it (31365)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:00am - work - by DramaticSigh (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML

#17473722
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (2749)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States

Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks decided to pull a "fire in the hole" prank. Granted, it has been done to me before, this time was different. These pleasant people decided to use hot coffee. FML

#17446710
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (2193)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:26am - work - by viperplay53 - United States



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