Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML

#18028466
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29050) - you deserved it (1796)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

#18025254
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (9450)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

#18022998
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (3656)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

#18021028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (20760)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

#18010067
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (3674)

On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way how easy it is to get on my boss's bad side. We were talking about reality TV shows and I'd mentioned how much I despise Snooki, and how useless to the planet she is. Now I fear for my job. FML

#18008275
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (5950)

On 10/17/2011 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

#18002643
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13939) - you deserved it (19370)

On 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm - work - by Kate - United States

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32514) - you deserved it (6096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37956) - you deserved it (5294)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

#17980865
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (2398)

On 10/14/2011 at 5:35am - work - by scribbler8 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30703) - you deserved it (1934)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

#17958563
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (3689)

On 10/11/2011 at 7:52am - work - by anon - United States

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

#17958269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21376) - you deserved it (2145)

On 10/11/2011 at 5:43am - work - by Anony-moose (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: