Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (6248)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

#17164804
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (2603)

On 07/18/2011 at 3:40pm - work - by StudMuffinette (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then steals my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML

#17160498
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (3978)

On 07/18/2011 at 6:07am - work - by jennlikewhoa - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, two girls ran up a tab of $60 in drinks. They ended up not paying the bill and walking out. My boss told me it won't be the first time or last, as he made me pay their bill. FML

#17145541
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (2933)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:00am - work - by sfabsits - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

#17144161
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (4573)

On 07/17/2011 at 1:16am - work - by Auston (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (3072)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

#17137243
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (17345)

On 07/16/2011 at 3:19pm - work - by Brian - United States

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

#17125481
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (39010)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML

#17119657
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (2575)

On 07/15/2011 at 7:38am - work - by TabbiNicole - United States

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (47082)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21559) - you deserved it (1932)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23519) - you deserved it (3227)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML

#17066574
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32372) - you deserved it (2781)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm - work - by Username - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: