Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

#17902230
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (24214)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Robyn (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was denied a waitressing job at a local diner I have been going to for years. Due to the fact that my name is Julia. They already have a waitress there named Julie. Apparently, I would "create too much confusion." FML

#17900400
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27863) - you deserved it (2309)

On 10/03/2011 at 11:22pm - work - by Julia (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

#17894679
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42826) - you deserved it (5243)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

#17892282
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (2079)

On 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (13640)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

#17873678
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (4308)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm - work - by lyssamarie316 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML

#17868500
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (2633)

On 09/30/2011 at 12:50am - work - by nearlythere - Australia

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (2829)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25399) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9994) - you deserved it (21908)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41151) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (2277)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: