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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

#16353069
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31339) - you deserved it (5965)

On 05/26/2011 at 2:00am - work - by Fred (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML

#16352403
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9746) - you deserved it (51382)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:04am - work - by explosiveBAM - United States

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

#16349458
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (17068)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:10pm - work - by wtffireworks! - United States

Today, my boss and I were preparing a lunch order for a nearby real-estate agency. I noticed that the order was riddled with spelling mistakes, so I laughed and mocked the realtors calling them stupid and incompetent. My boss then pointed out that the order was written in his handwriting. FML

#16340964
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8964) - you deserved it (35658)

On 05/25/2011 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML

#16340201
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (6810)

On 05/25/2011 at 7:34am - work - by oh dang /: -

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (3250)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, after having just cleaned my office at work, I sat at my desk and opened a can of Diet Coke, which then exploded all over my desk, keyboard, and everything else in its path. FML

#16328012
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (7606)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:46pm - work - by Seriously (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

#16324475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (3116)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:55am - work - by birthdayfail -

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

#16324366
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (3061)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:31am - work - by goatvideosarelame (man) - Singapore

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (3524)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my boss contacted me to come in for a quick meeting. I drove 30 minutes to get to work only to find out she was firing me and wanted my key card back. FML

#16321332
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29123) - you deserved it (2667)

On 05/23/2011 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

#16320641
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (4078)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm - work - by rogerusmc23 - Japan (Tokyo)



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