Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (7509)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (3583)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

#13950658
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (2081)

On 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm - work - by Username -

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

#13947465
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8358) - you deserved it (57353)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

#13929879
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (4531)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by poomaster - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

#13927206
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (30207)

On 11/21/2010 at 5:36pm - work - by BlackRavenWings - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

#13925537
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6718) - you deserved it (35699)

On 11/21/2010 at 2:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (2387)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML

#13906681
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (3358)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

#13893679
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26203) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

#13893197
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (5455)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

#13885565
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28034) - you deserved it (2507)

On 11/18/2010 at 7:12am - work - by pukishgirl (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

#13876582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (7011)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: