Today, my boss asked me if I needed to stand in the corner while I thought about what I did wrong. FML

by NurseGabby / 02/24/2016 at 2:26pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss asked me to work over the entire weekend. That would be fine if I didn't already work a 60 hour week. He also said the extra hours on the weekend wouldn't be paid. FML

by girlfromnowhere / 02/23/2016 at 6:06am / United Arab Emirates / Work

Today, my boss decided that, because I got dragged into a vacation that I didn't even want to go on, she was going to take a promotion back before she even gave it to me. I don't know what's worse, losing the promotion or going on that crappy vacation. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I'm a car salesman. I got told to cold call a list of previous customers, but I recognised the names as I phoned them all last week; I told the manager this. He slammed his fist on my desk and told me to stop lying and do as I was told. I got told to "fuck off" 27 times. FML

by Arcam89 / 02/22/2016 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work

Today, my boss fired me because his girlfriend wanted the job I had. She has no experience whatsoever in my line of work, it was just his "anniversary present" for her. FML

by replaced / 02/21/2016 at 10:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my boss mistakenly drunk texted me and was talking shit about me. FML

by Sarah / 02/20/2016 at 7:13pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML

by twinzies / 02/19/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boss told me to resign within the month, or he'll fire me and give me a bad reference. I talked to him about it again later on, this time with my phone recording everything, so I could take the proof to HR. I guess he knew, because he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. FML

by fucked5waystofriday / 02/19/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was let go from my dream job. My manager said he couldn't keep me busy all day, and so he didn't need me. He still has a "Help Wanted" sign up. FML

by MorlockWarlock / 02/19/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML

by OPforonepiece / 02/19/2016 at 9:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML

by jesuscrip / 02/18/2016 at 1:08am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

by anon_smh / 02/17/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Montana) / Work

Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML

by ragnarok1540 / 02/17/2016 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.