Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

#21386179
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (2102)

On 04/01/2015 at 10:04pm - work - by QueenCee - United States (California)

Today, I was reprimanded at work for having a low friendliness rating as a cashier. For two months, out of 1500 transactions, only 3 people filled out the survey. I almost got fired because 1 out of 3 people was mad about a coupon. FML

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (9863)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

#21385304
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (3303)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:37am - work - by Sam - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (5209)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (2552)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

#21384560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (2778)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (2082)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (1964)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

#21383983
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (2277)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27777) - you deserved it (1843)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (2262)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: