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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

#14046266
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24975) - you deserved it (8889)

On 12/01/2010 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31670) - you deserved it (3252)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

#14041933
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13239) - you deserved it (55466)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

#14035963
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7878) - you deserved it (25695)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:49pm - work - by oopsididitagain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

#14034046
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (1962)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

#14033454
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32175) - you deserved it (2195)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23338) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

#14021312
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (5425)

On 11/29/2010 at 5:46am - work - by figgy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went in to work to check my new schedule for the week. I searched up and down and didn't see my name listed. After talking to my manager, he decided it would be easier to "release" me than remake a new schedule. FML

#14014833
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (1787)

On 11/28/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by moshgra -

Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML

#13971755
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/25/2010 at 5:25am - work - by Peter -

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (2273)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

#13962555
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (2745)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

#13959673
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8780) - you deserved it (35036)

On 11/24/2010 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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