Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

by bad samaritan / 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2012 at 6:54am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I got threatened to get dragged out of the window at work because I wouldn't sell someone hot wings. I work at Taco Bell. FML

by Taco Hell / 10/19/2012 at 2:43am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML

by johnnyfuckfacer / 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

by satanworshipper / 10/18/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML

by leafscupwin / 10/16/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

by anon / 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

by bbbbb / 10/14/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

by ClothesHorse / 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work