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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

#14932173
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (3529)

On 02/11/2011 at 3:27am - work - by alliwantisabandaid -

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

#14923153
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20688) - you deserved it (11130)

On 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML

#14920871
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (2213)

On 02/10/2011 at 9:55am - work - by theothercassie -

Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML

#14917539
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (4233)

On 02/10/2011 at 12:31am - work - by geoduck - United States

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

#14913113
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (2430)

On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

#14905447
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22445) - you deserved it (6889)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29584) - you deserved it (3317)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

#14892103
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (27944)

On 02/08/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Shane -

Today, scarcely having time to look at myself, I quickly got dressed and went to work. Only when I got there and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror did I notice that the colour and detail of my black lacy bra could easily be seen. I work for a construction company. Full of men. FML

#14882987
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12034) - you deserved it (28514)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

#14882108
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (3287)

On 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm - work - by hushnow - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18872) - you deserved it (26935)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while stocking shelves with canned goods, a kid no older than ten ran down the aisle, knocking down everything in his path. He was followed by his mother who was laughing hysterically. FML

#14840451
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML

#14836415
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (72108)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - work - by Username -



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