Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

#13874228
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (2264)

On 11/17/2010 at 5:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7338) - you deserved it (28462)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14117) - you deserved it (49927)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

#13869223
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25051) - you deserved it (2287)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23744) - you deserved it (8116)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

#13825716
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:43am - work - by everythingWASperfect - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my manager fell in front of an entire lobby full of people on a wet floor. I'm the only one who burst out laughing. Turns out she has a broken arm. FML

#13821323
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8850) - you deserved it (32349)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:10pm - work - by klm878 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

#13812694
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9334) - you deserved it (27359)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, 3 policemen interrogated me and asked for ID but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML

#13810119
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (4983)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (7823)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

#13801258
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (3617)

On 11/11/2010 at 11:53am - work - by khaelian - United States (Illinois)

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

#13793318
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5401) - you deserved it (24916)

On 11/10/2010 at 7:26pm - work - by MrandMrsRendon20 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was writing my narrative essay for my English class. When I turned it in, I was really proud of what I thought I wrote. Evidently for some people listening to music while writing essays is a bad thing. My essay was filled with little bits of ZZ Top lyrics. FML

#13784109
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6342) - you deserved it (29496)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00pm - work - by hwscrewed - United States (Texas)



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