Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (3096)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, after having just cleaned my office at work, I sat at my desk and opened a can of Diet Coke, which then exploded all over my desk, keyboard, and everything else in its path. FML

#16328012
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (7604)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:46pm - work - by Seriously (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

#16324475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (3064)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:55am - work - by birthdayfail -

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

#16324366
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27314) - you deserved it (3060)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:31am - work - by goatvideosarelame (man) - Singapore

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (3521)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my boss contacted me to come in for a quick meeting. I drove 30 minutes to get to work only to find out she was firing me and wanted my key card back. FML

#16321332
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (2664)

On 05/23/2011 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

#16320641
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (4076)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm - work - by rogerusmc23 - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML

#16313288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (2397)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:12pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (3251)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML

#16299041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (2904)

On 05/22/2011 at 3:50pm - work - by NoRespect (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

#16271295
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33117) - you deserved it (3262)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by ewwgross - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML

#16268137
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13490) - you deserved it (39524)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:38pm - work - by rioght onnn - Canada (Ontario)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: