Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was disciplining one of my students for behavior, and he started to roll his eyes every time I was trying to teach the lesson. So I threatened to write him up. After looking closely at the student, I realized he has a lazy roaming eye. FML

#13555511
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8005) - you deserved it (31634)

On 10/22/2010 at 10:15pm - work - by qhu - United States (Florida)

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

#13548383
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (26149)

On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

#13547625
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23254) - you deserved it (2331)

On 10/22/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44583) - you deserved it (2441)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML

#13537092
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (3281)

On 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (2990)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, for the second time in 5 months I was recognized for my hard work, sincerity and all the adjectives that they use to describe good employees. What was my reward? A piece of chocolate. FML

#13523513
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21142) - you deserved it (4098)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:33am - work - by rewarded (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

#13521400
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (11860)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:38am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

#13518808
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3554)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by engineerdude91 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

#13510751
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9846) - you deserved it (30132)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

#13505156
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10327) - you deserved it (24885)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:40pm - work - by haayloo (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8546) - you deserved it (29940)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

#13496435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (4801)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:27am - work - by ktwithaq (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: