Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

#19727538
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24232) - you deserved it (10917)

On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

#19712104
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (1818)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm - work - by Elmoo - Netherlands

Today, a kid I taught to swim became my new boss, at the pool that I have worked at for nine years. FML

#19703809
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (3659)

On 05/30/2012 at 9:51am - work - by chlorinesmells - United States

Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML

#19703375
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (9616)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:37am - work - by Fackwork (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

#19699245
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (2040)

On 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

#19699076
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21514) - you deserved it (1809)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:52pm - work - by vikts (man) - Luxembourg (Luxembourg)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (3232)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (2443)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27584) - you deserved it (3619)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

#19677033
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8946) - you deserved it (26956)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:07am - work - by emliv12 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25388) - you deserved it (7272)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: