Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

#18286848
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28803) - you deserved it (2287)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (3136)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (4993)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

#18272205
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (4879)

On 11/17/2011 at 11:50am - work - by Chubby - United States

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

#18261463
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (2640)

On 11/16/2011 at 1:32am - work - by nyatzz - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

#18247729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you deserved it (2563)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:53pm - work - by unhappyelf - United States

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (3336)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29508) - you deserved it (3036)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11844) - you deserved it (41916)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24511) - you deserved it (2596)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML

#18210468
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32443) - you deserved it (6006)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:20pm - work - by ToInsecure4me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15995) - you deserved it (33568)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML

#18201321
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41480) - you deserved it (3390)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: