Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18477) - you deserved it (6342)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22291) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out I'm getting laid off. However, they're keeping my coworker who rarely shows up and sleeps all the time when he's there. FML

#14505511
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

#14500845
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (3683)

On 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm - work - by poop (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML

#14490477
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

#14483355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:21am - work - by sick (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

#14482028
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20963) - you deserved it (10186)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cheating ex-boyfriend was offered the job we both interviewed for. I helped him with his cover letter before I found out about the affair. I've been unemployed for almost two years. FML

#14480352
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25848) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/05/2011 at 10:55pm - work - by sucker (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

#14475268
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (3612)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by worksux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

#14475247
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (5174)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

#14473900
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (3823)

On 01/05/2011 at 11:41am - work - by x_udontknowme_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

#14471297
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10203) - you deserved it (29727)

On 01/05/2011 at 2:41am - work - by sucks (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: