Today, I was let go from my dream job. My manager said he couldn't keep me busy all day, and so he didn't need me. He still has a "Help Wanted" sign up. FML

by MorlockWarlock / 02/19/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML

by OPforonepiece / 02/19/2016 at 9:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML

by jesuscrip / 02/18/2016 at 1:08am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

by anon_smh / 02/17/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Montana) / Work

Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML

by ragnarok1540 / 02/17/2016 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 7:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 4:36pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, I sent an email to my teacher asking if a source was a primary source, he replied yes. I got my grade back for my essay and it was worse than I expected. My teacher said it was because I didn't use a primary source. I showed him the email, to which he replied, "Well, I was wrong in the email." FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 8:16am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my dad got angry with me for not watching "Better Call Saul" with him, because he thinks it will help me with law school. He did this while I was actually reading for a class taught by the top health law professor in the country. FML

by randommanwill / 02/16/2016 at 3:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my boss gave me some mentorship. She told me, "You need to learn to let people do things for you. Until then, I'm going to micromanage your project because I want it done my way." FML

by BlueSuit / 02/14/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I returned to work after taking two days off to find I'd been fired. Why? For not being at work on those two days. Everything was agreed in writing, all trace of which has mysteriously vanished. I can't work until HR sorts it out, and nobody can tell me how long that'll take. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, we had some workers come to paint my office building. As a receptionist, it's my job to stock the fridge with soda. I walked into the supply closet just in time to find a worker peeing in a bucket. I stood there for about 10 seconds before I understood what was happening and ran out. FML

by onlyolivia / 02/11/2016 at 2:55pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

by candy / 02/11/2016 at 7:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Work