Today, at work I did inventory with my boss. He did the top shelves and I did the bottom ones. By the end, my knees were dirty and sore. I went home and my roommate asked me how my day went. I absent-mindedly said, "My boss had me on my knees all day." He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

Today, I woke up from an erotic fantasy about my boss. Today was also the day he wanted to have a nice long chat about my future with the company. I couldn't even look him in the eye. FML

Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2016 at 4:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I almost got our office burned down by plugging the wrong charger into a laptop cooling fan. Tried to hide the incident and kept it casual but the smoke detector led it to my area and everyone knew I was the culprit. I'm a new hire too. FML

by funfettifirework / 08/18/2016 at 1:08am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Work

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it and did it herself. FML

by Tired / 08/17/2016 at 1:51pm / Work

Today, my boyfriend came home from a trip early without telling me. When I got to his house and saw his car there, I texted him and said, "Oh you asshole". About five minutes later, I got a text from my boss asking if that text was for him. FML

by DuckyDew / 08/16/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML

by Jenbearish / 08/16/2016 at 12:58am / Work

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

by PeedMaPants / 08/15/2016 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work

Today, I worked from 8 to 7 without a break and I'm still not done with my assignment. Meanwhile, my co-worker crafted a piece of paper looking like a watermelon slice and posted a picture of herself seemingly taking a bite out of it. FML

by ihatemyjob / 08/15/2016 at 3:12pm / Work

Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML

by tee / 08/15/2016 at 9:54am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hard-covered textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML

by Screamingfirecracker / 08/15/2016 at 12:12am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work

Today, I got a bad review on my work's Facebook page. The girl said I was very rude and I should never work with the public. I was trying to flirt with her. FML

by Bg2466 / 08/14/2016 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

by Downinthedumps / 08/14/2016 at 6:44pm / United States (Arizona) / Work