Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I'm doing an architecture course in China. My boss asked me to create a lamp shaped like a shrimp. FML

#21521055
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17267) - you deserved it (2077) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2016 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonyme - China (Shanghai)

Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML

#21520798
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (1631)

On 01/29/2016 at 1:36pm - work - by Sandman2015 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got let go from my job, because my personal cell phone doesn't always have signal, so I missed an important call from work. My contract specifically said I'd get a work phone, which never happened. FML

#21520740
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (1377)

On 01/29/2016 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML

Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML

#21520497
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (1296)

On 01/28/2016 at 6:39pm - work - by screwedfortheweek (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that I don't have to work tomorrow. Normally I would be thrilled to hear this, but not from the 6 o'clock news, doing a piece on my work's rat infestation and indefinite shut down. FML

#21520317
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (1251)

On 01/28/2016 at 2:02am - work - by imahater07 - United States (California)

Today, I received a phone call from my boss, from the other side of the country. It seems the conference I sent him to is actually happening next week. FML

#21520233
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18276) - you deserved it (6229)

On 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

#21520140
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (3185)

On 01/27/2016 at 5:35pm - work - by westwoodcosmo - United States (Arizona)

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

#21519950
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (1828)

On 01/27/2016 at 2:59am - work - by NotYourToy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss got mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't be able to work two days out of the week, due to college classes. She then cut back my hours so much that I now only work one day a week. I got the job in the first place to pay for my college classes. FML

#21519921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19240) - you deserved it (1452)

On 01/27/2016 at 12:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

#21519742
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19765) - you deserved it (1529)

On 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I requested a pay rise at work. They said they couldn't do it as they have to cut costs, so I resigned. They've now re-advertised my job for more money than I asked for. FML

#21519593
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (2595)

On 01/26/2016 at 6:40am - work - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

#21519490
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (1278)

On 01/25/2016 at 10:37pm - work - by Kan23 - United States (Oklahoma)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: