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Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (5187)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27649) - you deserved it (3542)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36975) - you deserved it (3095)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (4318)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (1865)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

#21380389
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (2364)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (7475)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, we got CCTV fitted in our store. My lovely boss told me he'll be spending his free time watching the footage on his phone to know what I get up to when he's not in. FML

#21379507
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (2479)

On 03/22/2015 at 2:19pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27026) - you deserved it (3215)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

#21378331
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (208) - you deserved it (2176)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:38am - work - by ZG_Rules (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)



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