Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (2246)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

#21457895
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (2332)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a woman at the retirement home I work at told me she was new and asked me a few questions. I asked her when she moved in. She was a new coworker, not a new resident. FML

#21457683
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13172) - you deserved it (11874)

On 08/18/2015 at 5:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (8943)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, while working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sell dildos. FML

#21456680
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (1574)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my vehicle's transmission shifter moves freely without shifting gears. I'm stuck in park, in a parking lot, unable to even put it into neutral to push the vehicle out of the way of several parked cars. The old lady screaming at me just outside my door doesn't understand logic either. FML

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

#21456323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22570) - you deserved it (1643)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:47am - work - by bruised - United States (Florida)

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

#21455888
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:35am - work - by babbling idiot - Canada

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

#21455499
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (1489)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:58am - work - by SteamLass765 (woman) -

Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

#21455427
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (2050)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:13am - work - by Highroller_17 - United States

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

#21455368
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19945) - you deserved it (4701)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

#21454901
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (2827)

On 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by NotJobbing (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: