Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you totally deserved it (3853)
On 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm - work - by samantha711 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Common sense! I've taken those tests. When it says something like "Do you like people?" the answer is yes. "Are you friendly with customers even on a bad day?" Yes. Why would they take the honest person when the test clearly shows that the other person is better with people, and thus, better for the job? YDI for lacking the common sense to lie on the test that pretty much all employees who have taken it lied on.
#45 - On 11/10/2009 at 9:32am by silvermoonstar3
I agree it's more a test of common sense. Many times throughout your career you will encounter situations where stretching the truth will result in the best outcome for yourself or your employer. This was one of them.
OP: It's less telling the truth and more telling the employer what he wants to hear. My Dad has told me this several times. Sorry you had to learn it this way.
For everyone who says that all you have to do is lie to make yourself sound like you're the best (i.e. saying you're good with people, that you're well organized, etc) that is not true. I too have failed these types of tests. In fact when applying for one job I was told that I did not pass the personality test to work in a warehouse moving boxes. Yeah...I don't have the personality to work with a box.
Anyhow, moot point.
After failing several of them I asked a friend's mother who is in the hiring department of a large corporation here where I live. She told me that some companies actually set it up so that people who sound like the best are not hired, often they are assumed to be liars and in other cases some bosses will turn down these people because they are the ones who will end up on the fast track. Which to some people means they will be competition in the work place. I doubt that many of them are based on that, but I can definitely see where some people in management are so insecure that they would do something like that. However, the example of them believing that someone sounds to perfect to be true is something that sounds very reasonable. They know that people lie and try to say what the company wants them to.
Sucks for the people out there who are actually nice, honest and hard working. We don't believe they exist, so why hire them if a test says they're real.
#76 - On 11/11/2009 at 12:06am by WTFsGoingOn
FAIL for not being clever enough to know to embellish yourself (not necessarily lie) in the psychological analysis.
WTFsGoingOn…excellent choice for a nickname as you do not seem to have a clue about job interviewing and psychological analysis for hiring. These tests are drafted by psychologists for one purpose: to see if you are fit for the job, i.e. not to see if you are perfect. Fitting in also includes fitting in with the corporate culture and your future colleagues.
Also, these tests have ‘trick’ questions to spot obvious liars (just like in multiple choice questionnaires where people who always answer the same/randomly are automatically removed), which is what I think your friend was trying to explain to you. These tests can be prepared for to a large extent, and if you have done a few of these tests (or if you really care about a job), you should know this.
Oh, and extra FAIL for failing the warehouse box moving test. Maybe they don’t like self righteous (sorry, I mean “nice”) morons who don’t have a clue. I like this company already.
If you were to lie on these psychological assessments, and you were to get the job, wouldn't the employer eventually notice your actual personality does not fit the personality you claimed to have in the assessment? I'm pretty sure if someone were to answer "When in a bad mood, I don't show it" and then at work is grumpy towards co-workers and customers, the employer would notice and begin to question your honesty. And when they figure out you lied about everything on the test, you get fired, and they will be sure to tell any of your future employers about your problems with answering questions honestly.
#86 - On 11/11/2009 at 11:33pm by hodgepodge
So you're saying that during an interview, just to avoid lying, you'd say that you're a grumpy bastard with no team-working or interpersonal skills lol?
Besides, depending on with country you work in, once you're hired, you don't get fired that easily (which explains the many casting errors in oh so many companies).
This is what my mother has told me several times. It's utterly stupid.
#2 - On 11/10/2009 at 3:27am by DameGreyWulf
Lie and get the job or tell the truth and go broke? Your choice, bud.
#3 - On 11/10/2009 at 3:28am by auburnvans
No, you just have to actually think about what your potential employer would want to hear. Did you answer that you are likely to steal? Likely to have mental breakdowns? Prone to panic attacks? Stop being an emo kid and use your brain.
How did you miss that? Again, answering those questions only takes common sense.
#5 - On 11/10/2009 at 3:31am by caancoha
Everyone knows that honest applications never get through.
#6 - On 11/10/2009 at 3:36am by InfectedWithDrew
YDI for not being able to lie. Had i not lied to the psychologist my school and parents sent me to i would probley be locked up by now.
Had you lied you would have a sweet job as a defuser on a bomb squad. (I can only assume that is the job you were going for).
#7 - On 11/10/2009 at 3:39am by crazytoaster
Have you ever looked at child porn?
Op: Uh, she was 15... I mean 18... I mean...oh god!
Have you ever sexually harassed your employer
Op: I wish! I mean, I wish that happened... no didn't happen... no... wait... can we erase the last ten minutes.
I don't think we are looking for someone like you.
Op's Friend: I am a christian, with magical powers, and I can fly, so I will always be on time. Also I never sleep with people, I am like a plant, I don't need food just water and sunlight. So put me by a window, give me some coffee and I will never sleep. I am always honest, honestly.
See Op that is how you do it. You turn the bad into the good. Charges of sexually harassment--well you are just a people person. Hit your last partner for taking your sandwich, well you sir just know how to protect the product. Have no friends... you are dedicated to work. No one likes you, well you are just different, which is good, you have original ideas. See, spin it.
Do you get along well with others? ... No.
Do you tend to have violent mood swings? .... Yes.
Are you clinically depressed? ... Sure as shit am.
Have you ever had a restraining order against you? ... Who hasn't?
Do you take any illegal drugs? .... Fuck yeah, why, you lookin to buy?
Sometimes honesty just is not the best policy.
#9 - On 11/10/2009 at 3:43am by HeatherFTW
sometimes honesty is the best policy doesn't work. I had the same happen, my friend made up some crap and I was honest, and he got the job, but in the end he got fired since he lacked some skills he claimed to have so I felt a bit better... Next time fill it out wisely, know what they want but also keep in mind what skills you can demonstrate and how good you can act out what you lied about... If you overdo it with the lies then it might be pretty obvious on the job...
#11 - On 11/10/2009 at 3:49am by StaticDown
This happened to me and a couple of my friends. We all went out for some holiday position in a clothing store in a mall. All of us failed the test they give you. And to be honest, I tried to fill it out so it was what the store wanted to hear. Well needless to say none of us got the job. But, the kid that did wound up stealing from the store.
That's how the police catch most of their murderers.
Answer every question and make sure you tell the truth:
1. Did you kill him?-yes
End of Test
There's a point of telling the 'truth' and what's the 'right truth'. You tell employers what they want to hear.
Not what you think your personal opinion is on the subject.
If you didn't know that, you're an idiot.
#21 - On 11/10/2009 at 4:25am by BadLuckBub
It is like Lionel Hutz said on the episode of Simpsons where Marge becomes a real estate seller. There's the truth and then there's the "truth."
A dilapidated house=a rustic house
a small house= a cozy house
etc.
Sorry that this happened OP it sucks, but really it is a good lesson to learn. You are always going to have to fudge details to get a job unless you're a perfect person and even then I doubt they will hire you cause they won't believe it when you say you don't have flaws. Sorry. Learn to lie or FYL.
you sure it wasn't an ethics test rather than psychological? if ethics ydi for not knowing to answer unethically= choose the most ethical option every time. if psychological, ydi for not realizing that it was a test of adjustment and conformity, and that you should have lied to make yourself seem more sane.
It must have been a place like best buy where the online applications have 50 questions devoted to your personality. If the options are "strongly agree" "agree" "disagree" and "strongly disagree", always go with the most extreme.
#26 - On 11/10/2009 at 5:26am by Tubasaurus
A lot of jobs do that, and they do expect you to lie. But is that the kind of place you want to work, and the sort of management you want to work under?
#27 - On 11/10/2009 at 5:39am by marshmallowmouse
A lot of people work where they work because they need the money. Not because it's where they want to work.
there's right answers and wrong answers to those tests. basically you cant be too emotional, love being helpful, think people are trustworthy and there's a point to life. oh, and you don't steal. you also cant get a perfect score because you'll get turned down for lying.
I'm pretty sure if any potential employer saw this comment stream, they would rethink their interviewing processes.
#29 - On 11/10/2009 at 6:24am by greenltrn2003
ydi
they tell you to tell the truth so they can weed out idiots who actually tell the truth for questions that will probably affect if they get their job or not
#31 - On 11/10/2009 at 6:30am by lololol111
Let me guess how this went for you:
"Are you angered easily?"
'YES'
"Do you struggle with long-term assignments?"
'YES'
"Do you believe that the customer is always right?"
'NO'
"Do you know what FUCK OFF means?"
Of course you can't tell the truth. At my first interview ever as a store I lied lol.
#33 - On 11/10/2009 at 7:18am by capricaz
this was your first interview, wasn't it? sorry sweetie, lesson learned huh? you gotta tell these people what they want to hear. now, lying about skills would most certainly come back to haunt you, but not the personality questions. when dealing with people you kinda have to put on a big fake grin anyway. next time, you know what to do!
#35 - On 11/10/2009 at 7:37am by fretforyerlatte
Yeah this is good advice, actually. NEVER lie about skills, because this will burn you if you actually get a job you're unqualified to do. It's also an extremely poor idea to embellish your work experience or education, since there's a good chance you'll be caught and instantly disqualified or fired.
However, the "psychological assessments" are a bunch of fluffy BS with questionable predictive power. So in most cases the best policy is to answer them in the manner you think your potential employer will find desirable.
Dude that just happened to me too, doing some stupid phone survey. Before it started it told me that 'We realize everyone is human, and we would like you to answer these questions honestly, NOT how you would think we would want you to answer them.' So I did. And I failed. The worst part is that my honest answers were not that bad at all.
#37 - On 11/10/2009 at 7:40am by nevele11
Well here is a taste of how the adult world works. Sadly the adults in your life lied about how it really works so you were not prepared. Why do you think some of us hate it sometimes? It's tragically hypocritical. You can only refuse to play up to a point but believe me somewhere you have to compromise.
You don't have to lie, just change your attitude. The only way you failed that analysis is if you answered that you like to steal and come late to work regularly. It's not the test's fault, or the company's. It's yours for having such a terrible work ethic. YDI.
#40 - On 11/10/2009 at 8:04am by GreenHacker
uh, yeah. OP, you have to make yourself sound like the best person possible on those types of things, and most of the time, that means lying your ass off.
#42 - On 11/10/2009 at 8:45am by protooler31
I heard the key to those tests is being consistent in ure answers. So u can be honest, just don't contradict yourself.
what an idiot, how in the world are you gonna answer that you're okay with people stealing and shit? come on now.
Yeah, I've always thought those tests are pretty much designed to weed out the people who are too stupid to know the "right" answers.
YDI if you were applying for a position as a politician
I guess that's what our country has come to, where only liars can get jobs
This has happened to me twice during trying to find a job. The first was a 200-question psychological profile, from which the company said I didn't score high enough (wtf?). The second was when I was completing an application for CVS, to which they said I scored in the "yellow-green" range (again, WTF?!)
OP, just keep your head up and keep on trying. You'll be able to find a job where you DON'T have to lie to work.
#49 - On 11/10/2009 at 10:31am by ProtoBuster_1
this happened to me to work at fricken outback steakhouse. the questions were like "Do your friends come to you for advice?" "do you enjoy parties?" blah blah blah. all about what i do in my free time - which has NOTHING to do with my work ethic! i was told that they can tell when you try to cater your responses to what you think they want, so i didnt. im not a bad person, i'd be great in a customer service job, but i failed the test. lame.
#50 - On 11/10/2009 at 10:52am by gregumsdagreggy
Their claim that they'll know if you tailor your answers is dubious at best, and more likely than not a bluff trying to trick people into answering honestly. After all, how can they know for certain if a person is tailoring their answers or is legitimately a great fit for the position?
With that said, it's important to be consistent on these assessments. Most of the them DO have questions designed to gauge if you're lying by asking the same question twice, only worded differently (and if you respond "strongly agree" to one but "disagree" to the other, you'll be disqualified as a liar).
The problem is that when someone sounds perfect they just assume that they lied, because as we all know no one is actually perfect now days.
I asked a friend's mother who does hiring for her company, she told me that if someone scores to well they assume that they lied and fail them.
#77 - On 11/11/2009 at 12:21am by WTFsGoingOn
When I was in high school I was applying for Best Buy and I filled out their TWENTY PAGE PERSONALITY PROFILER as honestly as I could. When I told my mom this months later, my mom told me I was dumb and insisted I re-apply, but this time she would fill out the profiler for me since she was afraid I would answer honestly and she knew what answers they "wanted". I ended up getting the job and consistently winning their little competitions for best salesperson. Long story short, those profilers are a waste of time and total bullshit. We had a HUGE problem with employee theft at my store, so obviously the profiler didn't prevent that. What it did do was eliminate the dumb thieves, so only the ones who were smart enough that they knew how to lie at laest would get the job.
Same thing happened to me when i applyed to the RCMP. I got top marks and amazing on the fitness test, but when i was suposed to be honest I said that my friends did drugs, I have not, but they have. They rejected me because they didnt want pictures of me around drugs. A couple months later one of my druggy friends got into the RCMP. He lied about drugs. Now everyone is calling me stupid because I was honest about my friends doing drugs... GG me.
#52 - On 11/10/2009 at 11:12am by matthepope
How do you know that your friend is not lying about lying on the psych test?
Maybe she told the truth and got the job over you because THEY found much more disturbing psychopathic tendencies in you, but THEY are afraid of you.
Then, THEY told your friend that the liars get hired, but the truth-tellers don't, just to avoid making your homicidal brain snap. Hmmmm?
This is why I absolutely despise when company make potential employees take those tests;they're a worthless way to spend time and money. How does the company know how honest people are being?
#56 - On 11/10/2009 at 12:31pm by Curiousmind
I think the word "lying" is being used bit too strongly here. It's not so much lying as it is about telling them what they want to hear. When answering the questions, keep in mind that all the questions are loaded. They tell you to tell the truth in order to get you to lower your guard. They con you into thinking they appreciate honesty. In reality, it's a smokescreen. It's basically catching more flies with honey than with vinegar.
It is easier for them to weed out potential "problem" employees once they find you have strong opinions on things. So you try to think,"What would they want me to say?". Bending the truth may seem unethical, but in the kind of society we live in today, it's all about survival. Do what you have to do to survive. even if it means compromising your principles. Sad commentary, yes, but it is what it is.
Yeah, for those things, just pretend you're a trusting, honest, obedient, punctual, confident, emotionally level person with pretty good leadership skills who never ever does drugs and loves working with other people people but can totally work alone too.
Even if not all of that applies.
And never question the reasoning behind using a test which essentially rewards dishonesty!
#58 - On 11/10/2009 at 1:29pm by FoundManyLemons
YDI. Psych analysis isn't really used to see if you're right for the job or if you're actually a good person. It's intended purpose is to see how well you kiss up to and for your boss(es) and how well you can cheat, scam, and lie your way through a job while keeping a good face. Employers don't really care whether you're a good and/or honest person or not.
On the other hand, some people do answer truthfully anyway, not necessarily because they're good or because they're honest, but simply because they're true to themselves despite the consequences. Truth be known, if you think about it that way, if someone is displeased with the services you can offer, they probably don't deserve to have someone like you in their employ anyway. That's not to say, however, that such an attitude is inherently wise. Many times, it's exactly the opposite, especially if it's just for foolish pride.
In other words, either answer the blasted questions like the employer would expect you to (lie, cheat, etc.), stick yourself out for whatever reason you desire (however foolish or wise), or just find a damned job where you don't have to fill out one.
#59 - On 11/10/2009 at 1:46pm by blastvortex
To fail those things are impossible. I mean the questions that give the big ass red flags are the ones that say, "I find stealing to be okay if it's small things. True/False" or "I feel like I'm failing if I ask for help. True/False"
So, YDI. Every employer knows people are lying. I got a 93% on my last one. Some jobs won't even look at applicants who get lower than 70% now, like my job. Every employer knows someone steals, someone is lazy, someone just doesn't give a shit. They just don't expect you to admit it.
Well, at least you didn't get fired six months down the road for being stupid, right?
#60 - On 11/10/2009 at 2:36pm by babylon_pride
You aren't selling yourself if you are telling people your faults. I don't know what kind of test you took, but surely you at least thought about why they were asking those questions.
#61 - On 11/10/2009 at 2:46pm by Subjectzero
It also helps not to be mentally unstable. This wasn't a "how well can you tell the truth" test. It was a mental test. And you failed.
#63 - On 11/10/2009 at 3:59pm by JP101
This isnt new I don't think I have ever actually told the truth on any test for a job.
#64 - On 11/10/2009 at 5:47pm by Voodoo_Hoodoo
Haha aw, OP. If no one told you, how would you know?
It's true, though. Never answer honestly. Answer as if you were the best worker suited to the job, always obedient to the boss, always following the rules, and always seeing things in black and white. It's dreadfully immoral and unrealistic, but it's the only way you're going to get hired.
I applied for seasonal job at walmart and had to fill out one of those. There were several odd questions. One was “if you saw a lady stealing for her children, and you knew there was no way she would be able to feed her kids otherwise, would you call management on her?” Pretty sure I didn’t answer that one honestly. Another one was “If your TV broke and there was no way you could fix it and someone told you they knew where you could get a new TV for $100, would you take it or question why it was so cheap?” I thought that was odd because walmart sold TVs for less than $100. I fudged the truth on all of them and, no joke, they said I qualified for the management track
I love those tests, especially the disclaimer they often have that says there "are no wrong answers". There might not be wrong answers, but there are certainly answers that will instantly disqualify you from having any chance of getting the job.
I wrote a "personality assessment" for P&G recently that was one of the biggest farces I've ever seen. It had the "no wrong answers" disclaimer, but for every question it was obvious what the answer was that would give you the best chance of making it to the next stage.
Sweet, my husband's a chemical engineer, wanting to work there. Any advice? Hehe, I'm networking on fmylife... something wrong with that...
#82 - On 11/11/2009 at 9:38am by Improbability
They know your friend is lying.When they're asking you to tell the truth,they're actually testing whether you're gullible enough to tell the truth.So,you fail.
But if you're interested I have some beachfront property in Idaho I'd like to sell you.
#70 - On 11/10/2009 at 7:59pm by alpha_beta
it's hard to be honest when trying out for a job these days. hence why I don't have a job.
<3!
#74 - On 11/10/2009 at 11:22pm by michelinax3
I've actually been in this situation myself. They didn't like my answers, and they basically told me "Sorry" and to leave.
#75 - On 11/10/2009 at 11:47pm by pittstonjoma
Ok, so I've never had to fill out one of those assessments, but I can't lie for shit, even about stuff like what I had for breakfast, let alone job interviews. If your potential employer doesn't appreciate your honesty, tell them to go fuck themselves.
In my line of work, honesty is the number one skill that employers look for when choosing a new employee (and yes, this has been confirmed through research surveys). Perhaps try looking for a different type of job if the ones you are applying for value people who can lie and cheat their way to the top, instead of someone with integrity like you.
#78 - On 11/11/2009 at 12:59am by kittyrose
There are a lot of different incarnations of those assessments, but I'm going to go against what pretty much everyone else has said and praise you for being honest. I'm amazed that no one has sued over some of those tests. The one for Best Buy, for instance, is strongly geared toward preventing them from hiring anyone with a mood or personality disorder. Generally, though... having some faults is okay. I just took one two Tuesdays ago in which I was honest that I had a history of being late for things and that I wouldn't feel like I was cheating the company if I took a fifteen minute break instead of a ten minute one, and I was still hired and started only a week after I took that test. I also think that I didn't get a job I applied for a couple of years ago because I (honestly) said that I had never shoplifted as a teenager, which there were six or seven questions about, and which caused them to assume I was a dirty rotten liar.
Anyway, the bottom line is that the way the tests are graded will vary by company. If you value honesty, find a company that values honesty... and try to apply places where the psychological analysis is given at the same time as or after the first in-person review. The impression you make on the person doing the hiring will have more weight than a number spit out by a computer in response to a multiple-choice test.
you don't have to lie to get the job - you have to be responsible and fit for that position. Perhaps she lied, but just wait till they find it out if she isn't fit for the job. If she needed to lie a lot, she might as well leave herself when she finds she can't deal with the stress or rhythm or whatever.
I'm all about honesty. But those unicru tests and the similar think that because you know someone who at some point stole something (all of us do) that you are going to steal or invite all of your petty thug friends in to steal. They think that if you go to a party and hang out by the punch bowl instead of being the life of the party, it means you won't approach or be friendly with customers. If the tests were a fair evaluation, and the interviewers took the time to ask you about your answers, it would be different. But they are not a fair evaluation at all. The way they evaluate is antiquated and absurd. So lie through the test, and then be honest the rest of the way. If it helps, I know that for where I've worked, they don't know your actual answers or score. Just whether you passed or not. Most of the "little people" think these tests are crap, too.
One of the ways I handled this was to transfer every question in to what they are really asking, in a retail context. Do I approach people at parties? Heck no. Do I approach customers? Of course.
I also said, YDI, cause if you research those tests at all, you'd have found out how to handle it...
#81 - On 11/11/2009 at 9:36am by Improbability
Okay, who DOESN'T know this? Obviously they're looking for someone that can act like they are the best employee, and understands what the job is expecting of them. You think they'll be interested in someone who can't even make themselves seem good on paper?
#85 - On 11/11/2009 at 3:32pm by thealphabitch
@ #23 (DarkJoy) That is called doublespeak which is language deliberately constructed to disguise or distort its actual meaning. Politicians use it all of the time to make things seem better than they really are. (i.e. downsizing = layoffs; air support = bombing; neutralize = kill; psychological deterrent = the largest non-nuclear bombs; protective custody = imprisonment without due process of law; doublespeak itself is a form of doublespeak; etc). It's not really lying, but it's not telling the truth either. I don't see how you could use doublespeak on an assessment that asks for yes or no answers, but during a face-to-face interview a person who is an excellent, smart, quick communicator can use doublespeak to his/her advantage.
#87 - On 11/12/2009 at 12:32am by hodgepodge
OP, maybe you should ask your friend if when she took this exam it was an oral, & she was on her knees.
#88 - On 11/12/2009 at 4:50am by COBRAMORPH
It's a dirty little secret that yes, you do have to lie on these things. In mere point of of fact, I applied for a job at Blockbuster once, and when I was done, the people behind the counter asked me whether I'd been honest or told them what they wanted to hear. I said I told the truth (sorta kinda anyway). They laughed, and said that I should have told them what they wanted to hear. Trufact: I later interviewed with them, but they didn't offer me a job until it was too late for me to take it.
Another bit of evidence for the whole argument; my job which I have now. In my rehire application (school being the interruption) I told the honest truth because I figured it would only be entertaining statistics and I was kind of annoyed to have to take it again, and my boss called me in a panic the next day and had me redo it right then. I'd failed it and it wouldn't even allow her to override me in.
So. Short version, OP. Yes, sometimes you lie to get a job.
