Poopoo peepee, Gross and Work: Today, as I was transcribing my manager's recorded orated memo,...

By Labro9 - 23/10/2016 08:20

Today, as I was transcribing my manager's recorded orated memo, I heard an unmistakable grunt and splash of an impromptu "bathroom deposit." It seems like my manager is economising his time like never before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 531

You deserved it 672

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 595

You deserved it 4 737

By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 169

You deserved it 34 718

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 018

You deserved it 13 395

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 706

You deserved it 7 405

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 852

You deserved it 11 376

By MrRadin - 04/12/2015 05:31 - France

Today, my roommate thought of a new idea for our household. According to him, we should take dumps at work as often as we can, that way, "we'll save on toilet paper at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 369

You deserved it 2 347

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 321

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 613

You deserved it 282

By sickofthisshit - 02/07/2016 16:43 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 223

You deserved it 1 025

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 2 595

Lalala579121 27

Monday 24 October 2016 12:50

I hope you transcribed it.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 24 October 2016 15:02

Making the best of his time...

Comments

hope1103 20

Monday 24 October 2016 11:58

That sounds like a really shitty situation

Anonymousbeing 15

Monday 24 October 2016 12:21

That pun is REALLY getting old and is VERY annoying. Please stop.

mariri9206 32

Monday 24 October 2016 12:47

I think it's funny but, then again, I love puns, even if they're overused. Also, it's pointless to get so butthurt (pun actually NOT intended) about the same old shit (pun slightly intended) on a website like FML - just saying.

BestOrginalName 22

Monday 24 October 2016 13:44

#2 - don't you know it is FML tradition to contribute one of these puns to all poop-related FMLs?

Lalala579121 27

Monday 24 October 2016 12:50

I hope you transcribed it.

ragnarok1540 39

Monday 24 October 2016 13:30

Now you know why the tape recorder was sticky ...

julianna5782 12

Wednesday 26 October 2016 5:27

that's ******* gross, man.

ezrocks4u 29

Monday 24 October 2016 13:56

I hope you got that, it was the most important part of the memo! "On the importance of saving time"

worldclassrager 39

Monday 24 October 2016 15:02

Making the best of his time...

Shadowvoid 33

Monday 24 October 2016 15:11

I do dictation for my father, who is a doctor, and I still have yet to deal with this.

GrumpyGrinch 23

Monday 24 October 2016 18:43

Thats when you write in the transcript "Shit happens"

donutcallmethat 16

Monday 24 October 2016 21:36

I think it's unreasonable to expect an employee to listen to you poop. If he does it again, I would try to record the conversation and keep it as blackmail material. Not for money, just in case you want to quit with a splash.

mariri9206 32

Monday 24 October 2016 22:23

Except there's no conversation about it. OP is transcribing their bosses notes and their boss is likely not in the room while OP is doing so. Yes, it is unprofessional of their boss to not pause the recording if they know they're activities while their speaking into a recorder will make noise instead of being silent and, yeah, it is unprofessional in general, noise or not, but, either way, blackmail or going so far to record a conversation about it or your idea in general is unresonable. If OP is really that uncomfortable with it, then they should have an uncomfortable conversation with their boss and ask them to maybe not record their thoughts while they use the restroom. Talk to them about it first or, if you think a conversation about it would be too uncomfortable and may end poorly for you, then just ignore it and act like you don't know a thing about it.