Work: Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I...

By Anonymous - 18/01/2016 10:50 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 105

You deserved it 2 111

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Same thing different taste

How smelly is your piss?

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 21:00 - Finland

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 140

By soapypete - 22/10/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 224

You deserved it 30 945

By MondayonaTuesday - 15/09/2017 20:00

Today, while rushing to a big marketing presentation, I started feeling ill in my car. I was stuck in traffic, and before I could get my window open I threw up all over my suit. All I had were some tissues to try to clean the mess before presenting to a full boardroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 586

You deserved it 322

By meep - 16/03/2017 00:00

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 827

You deserved it 435

Stress test

By anonymous - 20/10/2010 06:38 - New Zealand

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 13 377

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 139

Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 357

True hero

By MentalHealthWorker - 17/09/2020 02:05

Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 223

Melting man

By Anonymous - 12/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was on my way to a relatively important interview when I realized that I'd forgotten to put on antiperspirant. Once seated, I was so nervous that I started sweating profusely under my light blue shirt, and by the end of the whole ordeal I had huge sweat stains under my armpits, down to my elbows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 236

By Eric Forrest - 24/02/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 139

You deserved it 23 959

Twisted_Killjoy 23

Monday 18 January 2016 17:53

Should've responded, "only for you.." And then wink. You would've gotten the job for sure!! Or a restraining order...

Psycocharger 19

Monday 18 January 2016 17:52

Very interesting comment...? Did you just not notice it or did you choose not to wipe it off?

Comments

Psycocharger 19

Monday 18 January 2016 17:52

Very interesting comment...? Did you just not notice it or did you choose not to wipe it off?

9a_1z 12

Monday 18 January 2016 17:58

It sounds like the client walked into the bathroom, in which case they may not have had time to wipe it off.

Psycocharger 19

Tuesday 19 January 2016 19:28

ah ha, didn't read correctly:P

Twisted_Killjoy 23

Monday 18 January 2016 17:53

Should've responded, "only for you.." And then wink. You would've gotten the job for sure!! Or a restraining order...

NamelessGhoul 11

Monday 18 January 2016 19:43

Well worth the risk!

Lalala579121 27

Tuesday 19 January 2016 0:20

And if the job was to get a restraining order, it's a double win.

purelymixed 17

Monday 18 January 2016 17:53

Now he knows you like to have fun ;)

trollcrusher 17

Monday 18 January 2016 22:46

No, he knows you're passionate about doing business!

RenamonFucksLuna 21

Monday 18 January 2016 17:54

Uh oh! Naughty boy playing with yourself without asking the others to join!

stangbang92 17

Monday 18 January 2016 17:55

How does a soap dispenser shoot up? Especially enough to go up your jacket? All the ones now a days go directly down and you have to hit multiple times to even get a drizzle. Just curious.

RenamonFucksLuna 21

Monday 18 January 2016 17:56

Probably the soap was in his hands?

CLOTHESPlN 17

Monday 18 January 2016 18:12

Maybe his work actually keeps them full (which is rare enough as is), had a fair amount on his/her hands and then quickly brought them together in a clapping motion, causing it to shoot towards their jacket? Just an idea

Migole 36

Monday 18 January 2016 21:06

In my university building, we have dispensers you use with your elbows (similar to the ones at hospitals) with a very small "pipe" going down from the pumping frame. This "pipe" can be bend very easily and thus shoot soap on you (and the opposite bathroom wall). In addition to that, I know so many different types of dispensers that I'm curious how you might think the Op has exactly that one type at his workplace that you have in mind?

gabechriswill 19

Monday 18 January 2016 17:57

At least the client was chill about it. Hopefully you still closed the deal, OP. follow up.

bitchs_and_hoes 20

Monday 18 January 2016 17:57

You should've just taken it off.

photographer49 22

Tuesday 19 January 2016 1:48

#8 Why? I thought it was a nice ice breaker

darshini_ii 24

Monday 18 January 2016 17:59

He shouldn't have decided that moment to cum in..

9a_1z 12

Monday 18 January 2016 18:02

Your client should be pleased you take personal hygiene so seriously that even your blazer gets soaped after a bathroom visit, especially since they'll probably have to shake your hand at some point.