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Zanderman529's FML badges
  • Profile completed

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  • Mobility

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  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • 50 favorites

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    54%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    4%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    2%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
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  • Judgmental

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    2%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Zanderman529's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

By new name - / Tuesday 6 November 2012 22:03 / United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

By StormSeason - / Monday 29 October 2012 12:03 / Australia - Sydney

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

By thebeachisthatway - / Monday 22 October 2012 18:56 / United States - Worcester

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

By anonymous / Tuesday 9 October 2012 05:53 / United States