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Xxagex24x7's favorite FMLs

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 17 October 2012 05:18 / France - Saint-renan

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

By Doritos - / Thursday 17 June 2010 08:06 / United States

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

By sickkid - / Monday 23 November 2009 18:05 / United States

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

By hunnydoll - / Tuesday 18 August 2009 00:16 / United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

By unbelievable208 - / Wednesday 5 August 2009 05:28 / United States