About Xochilzarate
Life sucks
Xochilzarate - Followers
Xochilzarate - Followed
Xochilzarate's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
The list of badges to find
Xochilzarate's favorite FMLs

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

By toothfairy - / Friday 26 June 2009 14:20 / United Kingdom

Today, while I was doing my job as a groundskeeper, a couple of kids wearing MAGA hats threw garbage and rocks at me, then told me to "go back where you came from". I'm American, but I guess my beard makes me look like an immigrant or something, as this isn't the first time this has happened. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 2 March 2017 22:00 /

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. Couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

By - / Friday 3 March 2017 12:00 /

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 4 March 2015 05:12 / United States - Las Vegas

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

By falconjade / Friday 6 December 2013 17:28 / Canada - Bowmanville