About Wittyusername89 Not specified
Wittyusername89 - Followers
Wittyusername89 - Followed
Wittyusername89's page visits
Hugged!
Wittyusername89's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    24%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    4%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    10%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    70%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    16%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    5%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Wittyusername89's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 27 June 2014 20:22 / Spain - Valencia

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

By criley - / Tuesday 24 June 2014 01:56 / United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was feeling really depressed and ended up asking my mom why guys aren't interested in me. She replied with a laundry list of reasons, including, "Hair. Boobs. Face. Everything." FML

By snore / Saturday 19 April 2014 20:12 / Mexico - Mexico

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

By emydoll / Monday 28 April 2014 03:28 / United States - Honolulu

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

By nh-Amazon / Sunday 27 April 2014 23:01 / United States - Plano