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Unicornswaag20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

By fmlfmlfml - / Tuesday 2 June 2009 18:03 / United States

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

By legitweirdo / Tuesday 8 January 2013 04:16 / United States - Brooklyn

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 7 January 2013 20:01 / United States - Danbury

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 7 January 2013 11:11 / Australia - Hurstville

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

By VampObsessed / Saturday 5 January 2013 05:30 / United States - Dallas