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Tswizz's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    58%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    92%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    80%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    68%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1,205%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    75%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Tswizz's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

By assholedad - / Wednesday 11 February 2015 21:00 / United States

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

By MissYouPieceOfSkin - / Wednesday 27 November 2013 08:44 / United States - Kirkland

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

By Dor51 - / Sunday 27 October 2013 19:52 / United States - Tacoma

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

By Noname / Sunday 9 November 2008 09:18 / France

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

By nerdywaitress - / Friday 18 October 2013 05:14 / United States - Greensboro