About Talloctopus
I'm Awesome. And also a Whovian :]
Talloctopus - Followers
Talloctopus - Followed
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Talloctopus's FML badges
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
    0%
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    10%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    3%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    84%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    2%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    47%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    0%
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
    0%
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
    80%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Talloctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

By Helen / Saturday 10 November 2012 10:15 / United States - Pine Bluff

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

By dating a fking cnt - / Saturday 10 November 2012 00:16 / Canada

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

By Shauna - / Thursday 8 November 2012 11:09 / United States

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

By jan420 - / Friday 9 November 2012 22:03 / Norway - Moss

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 9 November 2012 18:28 / Argentina - Villa Sarmiento