About Shantilicious
I like FMLs and stuff
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Shantilicious's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 14 February 2013 23:00 / United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

By Thai rice mistake / Tuesday 12 February 2013 08:04 / United States - Oakland

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

By littlemiss / Sunday 10 February 2013 16:17 / Canada - Whitby

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

By Totallyscrewed / Sunday 10 February 2013 05:17 / United States - Stroudsburg

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 9 February 2013 20:03 / United States - Chula Vista