About Saltyapple
Living, loving, laughing at FML's. (:
Saltyapple - Followers
Saltyapple - Followed
Hugged!
Saltyapple's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    11%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    8%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    3%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    53%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Saltyapple's favorite FMLs

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

By / Sunday 25 January 2009 12:36 / France

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

By benjo / Tuesday 6 August 2013 18:07 / United States

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

By kimm1993 - / Saturday 3 August 2013 04:29 / United States - Chicago

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

By fuck people - / Friday 2 August 2013 20:58 / Canada - Toronto

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

By coldstar - / Thursday 18 July 2013 09:06 / United Kingdom - London