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Rwerner723's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

By caroline - / Friday 6 February 2009 15:29 / United States

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

By hawkwardd / Thursday 12 September 2013 07:42 / Australia

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

By anon - / Monday 9 September 2013 15:15 / United States - Mantua

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

By Iamdisappointed - / Wednesday 24 July 2013 11:50 / Sweden - Ludvika

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

By whorecrux - / Tuesday 2 July 2013 03:37 / United States - Newark