Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
MobilityYou are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Work is a 4-letter wordVoting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
50 favoritesLove knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!16%
JudgmentalYou have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.12%
YDI MasterYou made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.2%
I agree, my mouse works.200 "I agree" votes is a good start.19%
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML