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Rallocco77's favorite FMLs

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 29 May 2013 15:21 / United States

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

By i hit a cyclist - / Monday 27 May 2013 11:19 / United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 20 April 2013 02:55 / United States - Hebron

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

By jerk_ex_boyfriend / Sunday 21 April 2013 13:33 / United States - Narberth

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 20 April 2013 23:08 / United States - Denver