About Oracle96
I ride a motorcycle I have two huskies I have an amazing girlfriend And I'm about to start college. What else is needed to know about me. But whatever if you come up with a question just ask :DD other than that I am just another fml browser here don't mind me and my nerdy self.
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Oracle96's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

By ready_set_go - / Thursday 9 April 2009 01:14 / Canada

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

By Apcn / Thursday 5 June 2014 20:05 / France - Concarneau

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

By gassymomma - / Monday 28 April 2014 16:58 / United States - Sparta

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

By belljars - / Friday 18 April 2014 02:27 / United States - Riverside

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

By Brody89 - / Wednesday 9 April 2014 18:40 / United States - Vancouver