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Nataliejmc's favorite FMLs

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

By tryena - / Saturday 28 February 2009 10:59 / United States

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

By Becckzfizz - / Thursday 20 June 2013 14:10 / United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 9 March 2013 07:02 / Canada

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 19 February 2013 00:26 / United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

By daddy's girl / Tuesday 22 January 2013 04:08 / United States - Springfield