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Mopar309's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Mopar309's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

By tstaeger - / Saturday 24 July 2010 05:20 / United States

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

By SophieGray / Friday 20 May 2011 23:33 / United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

By yobruh / Tuesday 17 May 2011 04:54 /

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

By IhateThem / Saturday 14 May 2011 05:07 / United States

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 11 May 2011 14:33 / United States