About Metalmulisha95 Not specified
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    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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    19%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    76%
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    15%
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    76%
  • 50 favorites

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    10%
  • A new thumb

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    1%
  • One more and it's business time

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Metalmulisha95's favorite FMLs

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

By gir / Thursday 14 July 2011 19:35 / United States

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 25 December 2010 07:08 / United States

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

By Embarassedd - / Thursday 26 November 2009 05:01 / Canada

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

By WOCOACH - / Wednesday 9 September 2009 19:33 / United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

By offbeans - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 02:29 / United States