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    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
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    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Matias_cba87's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

By seriouslywtf - / Tuesday 28 April 2009 03:06 / United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 12 April 2009 00:20 / United States

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

By JAY22 - / Thursday 26 March 2009 11:41 / United States

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

By crap - / Thursday 26 March 2009 08:37 / Thailand

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

By theassman - / Wednesday 11 March 2009 04:42 / United States