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  • Beginner

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  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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  • Mobility

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  • 50 favorites

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  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
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  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
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  • Tell us what happened next

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  • My diary is a collector's item

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  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • The return of the thumb

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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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  • Socialite

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  • I moderated this!

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  • Profile completed

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  • It's in the can!

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  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    5%
  • A new thumb

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  • 50 quality comments

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    6%
  • Tweet, tweet

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  • Judgmental

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    29%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    6%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    15%
  • Perfectionist

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  • One more and it's business time

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Marik7410's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

By hala - / Monday 16 March 2009 02:18 / United States

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

By RedWaters / Wednesday 6 March 2013 20:20 / United States

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

By Frostbitten - / Wednesday 27 February 2013 03:00 / United States - Freeport

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

By methane overload - / Saturday 19 January 2013 01:32 / United States

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

By deadhammy - / Friday 11 January 2013 07:09 / United States - San Diego