Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
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By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States
Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
By anonymous / Thursday 19 July 2012 23:56 / United States - La Verne
By Vince - / Friday 9 December 2011 19:38 / Canada
By Nick - / Tuesday 26 January 2010 21:26 / United Kingdom
By Anonymous - / Thursday 31 December 2010 08:06 / United States