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  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Livenation15's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States