About Lickme89
as me
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Lickme89's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    5%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    9%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    0%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    6%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    1%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Lickme89's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

By LiLGeek / Monday 12 January 2009 15:37 / United States

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

By pkz / Sunday 31 January 2010 02:11 / France

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 30 January 2010 13:16 / United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

By jlowder2 / Friday 11 December 2009 02:22 / United States

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

By notateen - / Friday 13 November 2009 20:26 / United States