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Kitkat1255's favorite FMLs

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

By heyhijello / Monday 9 September 2013 22:05 / United States - Oakland

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 8 September 2013 16:38 / Switzerland - Bern

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

By Bnewlove / Wednesday 31 July 2013 04:50 / Canada - Surrey

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 8 September 2013 06:52 / United States - Orlando

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

By interphaseprophasemetaphase - / Wednesday 4 September 2013 11:18 / Australia - Melbourne