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    14%
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    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
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  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Kirklaursen's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 4 April 2013 14:29 / United States - Portsmouth

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 9 April 2013 18:01 / United States

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

By idontevenlikehamsters / Monday 8 April 2013 00:00 / United States - Manassas

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

By dating walter white's gf apparently - / Saturday 6 April 2013 19:13 / United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

By confusedcatlover - / Saturday 6 April 2013 11:42 / United Kingdom - London