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    28%
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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    91%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Justinharp's favorite FMLs

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

By nail714 - / Thursday 25 June 2009 05:02 / United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 3 April 2013 13:32 / United Kingdom - London

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

By kenabrookee / Wednesday 3 April 2013 05:48 / United States - Northridge

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

By anonymous / Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:55 / United States - Honolulu

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

By Jane - / Saturday 22 December 2012 23:29 / Canada - Niagara Falls