About Jkilmer
I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.
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Jkilmer's FML badges
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    77%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    11%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Jkilmer's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

By taintedlover - / Tuesday 13 May 2014 21:31 / United States - Seattle

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 12 May 2014 00:14 / New Zealand - Napier

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 15 February 2014 23:14 / Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 15 February 2014 22:44 / United States - Carlisle

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 2 January 2014 21:50 / Puerto Rico - Arecibo