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Jilldrankin's favorite FMLs

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

By alice5000 / Friday 7 November 2008 05:47 / France

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

By Gibbster_ - / Friday 20 June 2014 05:05 / United States - San Antonio

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

By fuckmyjob - / Thursday 19 June 2014 20:10 / United States - Lake Charles

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 2 May 2014 14:04 / United Kingdom - London

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

By Motha / Wednesday 9 April 2014 05:17 / United States - West Jordan