About Jdawg35527
hey im Jake
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Jdawg35527's FML badges
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • Beginner

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
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  • YDI Master

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  • 50 favorites

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    20%
  • A new thumb

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    2%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

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    8%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Jdawg35527's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

By Mortified - / Wednesday 22 July 2009 09:48 / Australia

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

By fuckadaisical - / Friday 6 December 2013 20:23 / United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

By I hate that game / Saturday 23 November 2013 16:11 / United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

By PapaW / Friday 1 November 2013 07:01 / United States - Lehi

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

By BaconLover / Monday 28 October 2013 04:58 / Japan