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Janabanana18's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

By j4y / Thursday 29 January 2009 00:30 / Canada

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

By sydysyd - / Sunday 21 November 2010 23:43 / United States

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 21 November 2010 08:01 / Mexico

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

By needfulthing / Friday 19 November 2010 15:00 / United States

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 19 November 2010 07:47 /