About Jagd
I see you've found my profile. I guess you want to know about me, just note that after you read this you can never leave. My name's jake Im 19 years old I'm blonde I'm also kinda stupid, but that has nothing due to the fact that I'm blonde I once ate my own head I fart rainbows Enjoy!
Jagd - Followers
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Jagd's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
    100%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    1,700%
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    4,600%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    2%
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    200%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Jagd's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

By bittersweet / Sunday 8 February 2009 03:08 / United States

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

By hotmommy / Monday 20 December 2010 00:23 /

Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML

By dmsmcd - / Friday 17 December 2010 09:48 / United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 15 December 2010 05:09 / United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 1 December 2010 05:11 / United States