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Ipeedinthewoods's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

By fatty magoo / Tuesday 29 July 2014 18:20 / United States - Kirkland

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 29 June 2014 17:26 / United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

By Anonymous / Monday 23 June 2014 19:52 / United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

By Humiliated & Heart-Broken / Wednesday 30 July 2014 04:41 / United States - Fort Worth

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

By dealtit / Wednesday 30 July 2014 03:49 / United States - Toccoa